aliseya

moving to word press...

2010-02-23T08:34:00.001-08:00

so i got some email from blogger saying that it takes too many resources to support ftp push to your own web server. really? it's a finished feature and a stable protocol.

i doubt that is the real reason. i suspect the truth is more like this:

we acquired the company, cut the staff and now there is one engineer building and maintaining everything. 2 when we have an intern. since this is a free product with no guaranteed stream ad revenue, and worse you can use it to place ads from another network and generate revenue for the competition, business has decided supporting blogger is not a priority.

i get it. i really do. so that's that. one day soon, i'm moving this blog to word press. welcome back control over my favicon. I missed you. And secondary pages in the same template as the blog, i welcome you.

that is all.

a bit of bitchassness.

2010-01-19T16:05:00.000-08:00

So, I'll admit it...I do, have a streak of bitchassness, that rears it's double standard having head from time to time. I accept this, and just try to remain aware of it, so that I don't inflict it upon you. whomever you may be.

So here's the tale, I don't know if I even want to admit this, but I want do actual work even less right now, so I'll go ahead and overshare...

so this weekend, I was not snooping...we were unpacking our stuff from moving, and i ran across a framed photo collage of my fiance and his ex. and it had little initial beads glued on it. hold please while i puke. i'm not really the jealous type, but this was disgusting. glued on initials. as in me + u 4ever. the kind of shit you make when you're 22. and goofy. i resent that type of chick because i used to be that chick. in some ways i kinda miss her. the one that could jump into love without reservations. but the older, wiser, cynical me, just will never sit down and glue some letter beads on a picture and say, this is us, i heart u. well, i could, but it would be totally sarcastic. because i can't muster the naivety required to FEEL that way.

and that is the source of the hate. i've progressed to being an actual adult. but sometimes you miss the innocence of being well, innocent.

on another note to his credit, again, he has proved that he is well versed in the ways of the game. when i found the photo, i realized, i must say something to him about this now, otherwise in a fit of bitchassness, i will either

1: throw it out, or
2: go ape shit on him about something trivial, and be so embarrassed about my bitchassness that I never admit to him that my being mad about, oh him forgetting to buy OJ, was REALLY my being mad about the photo, and the fact that her 22 y/o innocence is reflecting my own 30 year old snark back to me. and i don't like it. Much too Dr. Phil, so i decide to cut to the chase...i popped in to his office and ambushed him. i set it in front of him and said, take this to your mom's house.

not get rid of it. it might be sentimental. who am i to say get rid of your memories, but the message was clear - despite you paying for the majority of this house, get that shit out of my house. i know, i was acting like a dog pissing on her territory...oh well. a framed i heart u 4ever photo is verbodden. bearing you two children gives me that right.

and here is where he proves he is not game goofy...without missing a beat, before i could even say some smart ass comment, he said, oh okay. i didn't even remember i had that. but his tell was his little smirk. it flashed on his face. quickly, but i saw it. and it said, ah shit...she found that, and i'm amused that it bothers her. he knew he had it. he only has a FEW boxes of stuff. of COURSE he knew. it's a fucking framed photo montage of the 'good times'.

is it possible to hurt yourself rolling your eyes?

i didn't know i had that...as if.

like him, i'm not game goofy either, but he left me with nothing valid to say. there was no explanation of it for me to respond to. no slip of the tougue, ahh so and so... not one thing my i could take too seriously and twist to suit my needs w/out seeming crazy.

so i left. i was still bothered. but he won, i was silenced.

But not defeated. So, when i came back to check on that thing an hour later, it was gone. that fast. and there was i, robbed of my chance to be just a little bitchass.

as for the fate of the photo? i think it's in his safe. safely out of my line of sight. where i'll only find it upon his death, and in his mind, i'm sure he's like, f-it i'm dead, and even so, even from beyond the grave, i do what i want.

but anyhoo...for the record...

it's AW <3 KHM 4ever. consider this your bedazzled framed photo.

damn, if i didn't let my own bitchassness get in my way, i would have replaced the letters with my initials and put it back for him to find later...with one additional photo...a photo of me, all fat bellied and pregnant, with baby #1 shaking out his wallet. now that would have been great.

anyhow, time for my sage advice...pause before you act. plan shit out. don't let your bitchassness get in the way of true greatness.

these are the tales...

2010-01-04T14:47:00.000-08:00

so i have a collection of my um, antics from my early and mid 20s. I decided to write them down, since in private, I had a very interesting life. Actually, it was because nearly everyone around me kept telling me that i need to write a book.

so it's written. for the most part.

but it's dirty. not gossipy though. names are changed to protect the wicked and guilty and fun. but the problem is, i can't really publish a book and hide MY identity. i do have this thing called a day job to think about. So its sitting there. waiting to entertain you with my adventures, triumphs, mistakes and grey goose induced delusions of grandure. But it's not really a tell all. mainly because i was drunk. i don't remember it all. It's more of a david sedaris style commentary on the ridiculousness that was my life.

now, being almost 30, with two kids living in the burbs, it's almost hard to relate to that girl. that young, passionate, interesting girl. who my friends miss dearly. who was replaced by she who pays the mortgage.

but let me not put that spin on it...that girl is not gone. and the responsible girl was always there.

which is why i think i just might, come to terms with my own fears of letting you see how ridiculous i really am, and let you peek behind the curtain.

we'll see though.

happy new year

2010-01-01T13:26:00.000-08:00

ahh, the new year. time for a fresh start. well, actually, if you know me at all, you know NYE is a non holiday for me. for two reasons...1- i believe in change and action in it's proper time, not on some externally enforced schedule, and 2- i avoid any occasion which calls for the masses to drink, gather and act an ass en masse. not my idea of a good time. i prefer to watch the highlights of such group insanity on tru tv.

anyhoo..on to my message of hope and prudence for the new year...

if you've been reading any real financial news, you're aware that the world is in an economic state that can best be described as an unstustainable shit show. taxes will be raised where there can be. fees imposed where they can be. and liberties will imposed on in the name of protectionism.

so, my advice is thus. take responsibilty for your sphere of influence now. wherever you are, take responsibility for your situations and creations. keep your nose clean...lest they tax you for some infraction...keep your savings and investments diversified, because who knows where they will strike...my personal opinion is that its only a matter of time before the cash sitting in your 401K becomes irresistable to lawmakers. huge early withdrawal penalties? taxes on employer matches? reduction of social security benefits if your savings are high? taxes for not withdrawing enough? taxes for not contributing? who knows what they will come up with. so that is why it's important now to not be paranoid, but to be defensive.

but back to this responsiblity thing. becuase i'm saying this for your benefit, not mine. we're in a time, where everyone is looking to the government to provide something. some right. something you deserve. morality and definitions aside, the current situation is that governments are cash strapped and unable to fund the promises already made. something will go unpaid. some promise will be broken. and it probably won't be to those with millions to fund election campaigns.

so as always, but especially now, it's best to do good in your sphere of influence. be a blessing to those around you. I didn't say become captain save'em...but i'll leave a futher explanation on that to your spiritual text of choice.

but most importantly, take responsiblity for your own life, finances and health. before the government breaks it's promises and you are forced too.

good luck in 2010. it's darkest before the dawn. and i do think it's going to get darker. but even so, the silver lining is that you do have control over your personal situations. choose stablily and security over frivolity and flights of ego.

that is all. happy new years. may you learn your lessons with grace, recieve your blessings with humility and have clear insight into the true nature of things.

hopefully this kid is a millionaire.

2009-12-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

So, apple, despite being 'customer friendly' does not let you sync from your iphone to your itunes account. all in an attempt to prevent music theft. i'm sure this hasn't prevented one bit of music theft. but it did open the doors to getting music labels to distribute thier content. so...i see why this evil was necessary.

however, by not including this feature, apple created a market opportunity. there is this product to do it for you:
https://www.fadingred.com/store/

from what i hear, it was written by a high school kid, open sourced, and then snapped up by a software company and is now sold for $18. Not an unreasonable price.

hey kid, thanks for solving the problem of customers not realizing that even though your music is on your ipod/iphone that is linked to the SAME USER ACCOUNT, apple doesn't consider that a back up. so if your hard drive fails on your mac - which despite their witty ads claiming technological perfection, happens, apple does not care. you should have written your music to a CD...who even has CDs anymore?

and for providing an actual solution to what could be a very expensive problem (hundreds of dollars of music, held hostage), i hope you're a millionaire.

to apple. honestly, for what you charge for your products try to make your customer service and concern more than an advertising gimmick. from my experience, apple really does not care about anything other than feeding your desire to be trendy. and cool. and better than your poor friends who can only afford a PC.

don't get me wrong. i have a mac book. and an iphone. because i am trendy. and cool. and better than my poor PC owning friends. hopefully you picked up on the sarcasm. actually, the real reason is pretty mundane. i also have a PC and a linux box. i do web work and i'm expected to be in the know of all things web. i have to have access all major platforms, sometimes including mobile.

that is all. it's not that i hate apple. i just wish they were more like other luxury brands that understand that you know you are overpaying...and provide the appropriate service. free drinks when trying on wedding dresses anyone? gucci providing free tailoring and repairs. even if you are simply too fat for the dress. bmw covering all service and repairs for 3 years and a free loaner bmw while you get your oil changed. not a crappy old one either. it's an extended test drive, so they give you something good.

that is all.

a-dub out.

i vote, because i don't care.

2009-11-30T13:59:00.001-08:00

you want to be fat. good for you.

run a marathon. good for you.

have consensual, no children involved grimy/wild/risque/whatever sex. again, be great.

i don't care.

no really, i don't care. unless you are asking me to subsidize your choice. or pay for your "treatment" later.

the only time i have an opinion that i will subject you too is when you have your hands in my pockets via "taxes to pay for services". now you have forced me to take a defensive stance, and have an opinion on your life.

So here are two charged political issues. I'll tell you my opinion on them. but don't get it twisted. i'm neither liberal or conservative. i'm "idontgiveafuck"

issue 1: gay marriage. for the record, i voted no on 8. not because it's "right" or "moral" or "fair", but because i don't want to be in a position to be able to say what is right or moral or fair for YOUR personal life. But what about the "my kids will be exposed to homosexuality" argument. well, my kids are exposed to your intolerance. they're surviving that.

anyhow, so for the record, i didn't vote for the moral choice, i voted for the your life, your business choice.

on to issue #2: BMI requirements in school. http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/11/30/lincoln.fitness.overweight/index.html. for me personally, i choose to stay in shape. but i respect someone else's choice not too. but here is where it gets gray...obesity is known to cause major, expensive health problems down the road.

if you are okay with taking responsibility for this, good for you. we still see eye to eye. if you want ME to take responsibility for this, via taxes to pay for your free healthcare, now you have forced me to care. i'd rather pay for my bentley then your triple bypass. no really. i'm not kidding. i really don't give a fuck if you die at 51 because your heart crapped out. just like i don't expect you to care if i off my self with goose and pills. both deaths are self inflicted and preventable. one is just so common it's become socially acceptable.

so anyhow, on this issue, i think what this school is doing, while a minor infraction, is a step in the wrong direction. Why put in extra administrative overhead to manage this. This isn't westpoint. Being in shape has nothing to do with the degree. Do i think they would be better off at a lower BMI. yes...but note the critical word there...THINK. i.e., it is my opinion. maybe they don't agree. but again, back to the guiding principle.

why inject yourself in the middle of someone else's personal choices.

i prefer to neither subsidize or criticize. put the information out there, and let people make choices AND accept responsibility for said choices.

busy bodies, go start a private charity. stop using public funds for your private crusades. in some cases they call that facism. oh, do you now get the obama is hitler references...not because he he's committing genocide. all presidents using public funds to benefit a subset of the population will have this comparison made by their more sensationalist opponents. stop falling for the shock value of it.

anyhow, this is too much common sense for one sitting. either you know this and have stopped reading, or you believe in taxing me to enforce your version of morality, and have therfore written me off as a conservative, selfish prick.

either way, you are free to have your opinion. just don't tax me to enforce it.

huh? did you say something?

2009-11-24T12:13:00.000-08:00

my fiance is amazing at many things. one of them is his ability to completely tune me out while appearing to be engaged in a conversation.

most men, can do the, "uh-huh", "yeah", "hmmmm" form of converstaion engagement while actually not listening.

Kamal, can respond in full sentences. That make sense. And drive the conversation forward. All the while, he's actually not paying attention. For a long time, I thought he was just lying to me about not remembering what we talked about. Until he did it over something so normal, something with no emotional charge, something where there was no reason to pretend like he never heard me.

That's when i realized. His ability to hear me, but not hear me, is extremely advanced.

So the other day, he was playing video games. As a gamer myself, I know better than to try to have an involved discussion at this time. At best, you'll get concealed annoyance. So it wasn't an involved discussion. I was eating some ham and cheese and feeding some to the baby, and discussing with him what solid foods she likes. I know, all the men reading this are saying, there's your problem. He totally doesn't care. That's not the point of this post...

The point is, he was responding to the discussion. Which implies that you heard me. And noticed that me and the baby are eating a while package of deli meat in one sitting.

So fast forward and hour. We're in the car. He says: "you've got to be starving". I'm pregnant, so it's a reasonable thing to say. Except for the fact that I just had a sizable snack.

me: Not really, remember I just ate all that ham before we left.

him: hmmm, i don't remember that.

me: not at all? you don't remember me sitting right next to you, eating, and talking to you about what i was eating?

him: nope. you ate? really?

me: wow. either you really don't listen, or you have brilliantly bought yourself a get out of jail free card for all the times i get mad about you forgetting to do something. now, i know unless i get a written acknowledgement that he's heard me, he probably hasn't. Either way, it's genius. He's taken away my ability to reasonably get upset with him.

but I totally understand. I forget movies about 2 days after I've watched them. it's actually kind of awesome. each time, they are new to me. it also means movie quotes are totally wasted on me. i never get the reference...although i pretend to.

that's all.

you're free to forget this.

Generosity, grinch style.

2009-11-23T12:32:00.000-08:00

So at work, we have a holiday gift drive. You know the one, where they have the tags up with a toy that some kid has requested...So that every kid can participate in marketing driven consumerism on Christmas eve.

Did you catch the cynicsm there? So what's that you ask? If i'm such a cynic, why do I support this 'charity'. Well, mainly because it's kids. Christmas is not the time for me to go preaching solid economic values to them. Here's your toy. I'll save my econ 101 lecture for another day.

So anyhow, here is my tip to the admistrators of this program for how to improve it.

Drop the toothbrush requirement.

Ya, you read that right...you have to buy the toy and then buy a toothbrush. I'm sure the program looks at it like this. If you're shelling out for the toy, a $2 toothbrush isn't a big deal.

And from that perspective, it's not.

So how about i just attach a $5 to the gift and keep it movin. I mean really, if ya'll are wrapping the toy anyhow, you can add the dental hygiene accessories. because nothing says christmas like a reminder to brush and floss.

Here is where the problem lies, here is my process for participating in the holiday gift drive. Note going out of my normal routine is not a part of this process.

step 1. grab a tag with something specific. no vague things like "action toy". tell me what you want.

step 2. order that specific thing from amazon.com. See how easy that is. You told me what you want. I got you exactly that. Rather than some crap I think you want.

step 3. have gift shipped to my house. If our mailstop system were less complex, I'd have it shipped to work. But I've never tried it before, so I'm not using this as my test run.

step 4. when gift arrives, remove from box, drop off at work. conveniently, the gift tree is right in front of the latte stand. So it doesn't even involve any extra steps.

step 5. enjoy warm fuzzy feeling of knowing i did something nice. for some kid that will grow up and vote to raise my taxes because he now expects nice things for free. ahhhh, there's that holiday grinch.

and no, it's not really hard to be generous, grinchy AND lazy.

so anyhow, if you notice, adding in step 3.5 - stop at target and get a toothbrush to attach to the gift is not on there Not really working for me. Yes, amazon distributes toothbrushes, but they come from other sellers, so they don't come with the toy. Again, too much work.

Okay, that is all. Here, in a nutshell is the sage advice...if you're asking people for a donation, make it as simple as possible for them. Don't go ruining a good program by adding in one complicated step.

Happy holidays.

p.s. if i go buy the damn toothbrush, can that count as my contribution to obamacare?

for the record...

2009-11-23T11:33:00.000-08:00

if i'm ever in a state like this, pull the plug. if it's not that kind of a situation, lethally inject. i'm not so advanced a yogi that i could handle 23 years trapped in my own head.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/nov/23/man-trapped-coma-23-years

a few highlights of my career

2009-11-11T15:00:00.000-08:00

in the last 10 years, like most people, i've seen and done more than i can fit on a resume...most of which isn't directly relevant to the next job i want, so it's easy to leave off...

but here's my top 10 list of things i've seen/done. in no particular order.

1) Gone to a barbecue at bill gates house in mercer island. yes he was there. yes it was his real house. it's something he does with M$ interns. so yes, i was a M$ intern...way back when. I asked him how he knew leaving school and starting a company was the right choice. His answer is what KEPT me in school. I was not sitting on his opportunity, with his EXPERIENCE and his funding, personal and otherwise.

2) had a business reason to talk to execs at record labels. during my party days i was also doing a web consulting company. so i was able to go to some super swanky events and have something to say to oh, Jay Z when i ended up in the room with just him. Something that wasn't 'i like your music'

3) got to chat with Max Levchin about why he founded slide. how so? i interviewed there when it was early stage enough that the CEO would be involved in the hiring. when in the room with one of the founders of PayPal...of course I'm going to pick his brain about what he sees as an interesting business opportunity. Going to Y! over Slide was actually one of the hardest decisions, professionally, I've had to make. Two very different opportunities, both with major pluses.

4) Following Adam Blum around for a few years, doing whatever bitch work he asked me to. A lot of work, but a great career move because right out of school...you don't even know what you don't know yet. And I had someone willing to say, code this...trust me you need to know it. yes, big companies usually have some kind of engineering rotation that introduce you to this...but it'll take longer. Also, he has zero tolerance for bullshit engineers. zero. what's the benefit in that? the other devs he put me around, schooled me in something. i'm a much better dev today because of that.

5) Going to Berkeley. It's a CEO/Nobel Prize/Innovator/other kind of genius parade over there. get your head out of the lab and you have access to so many leaders in tech it's almost opportunity overload. Of the many people I talked to, I really appreciate Eric Brewer taking the time to discuss Inktomi and what was behind their success. Everyone sees the publicity and the press releases about successful companies and acquisitions, but being at Berkeley gives you the opportunity to dig a little deeper.

6) Taking Andrew Isaac's classes in Haas. I need to give him a call again to thank him. At 25, I was going thru career angst...which I'm really only working out now...I know where I want to end up...and I probably won't get there until around 40. But when you're young...and in the valley, that sounds like a death sentence. If you participate in his clases and his programs, you get your eyes opened to so many people that are where you want to be, including him. And in a non-hostile environment where they are receptive to answering your questions.

7) Shipped products that half the world uses at Y!. Really take the mystery out of it. I don't look at the web and think, i'm not yet ready...which makes me hard to interview. i'm like, you want to see if i can write stable code...here go to www.yahoo.com. there it is. next fucking question. and no, i can't recite to you exact fucking syntax for how to render an image in actionscript unless i just did it last week. so stop asking me questions an IDE will answer for you. </rant> if you can't tell, i despise sadistic tech interviews.

8) working in a culture of nice. nice only works, when it's balanced with extreme competence. nice + sub par engineers = failed execution. why is this a highlight? i've seen it firsthand. i know better than to be nice while the product fails in preventable ways.

9) bumping into the then CTO of intel while interning there. i didn't talk to him. it was the impression he left. his suit was not impressive. his head was down because he was in thought. in short, he was a tech geek. that's what you want in a CTO. CTOs that don't know and love and breathe tech are a total fail. save that for you CEO. winks. but i think that can be a fail too. depends on the rest of the team. and the VCs. i'm looking at you facebook. actually i won't be snarky. i've never met mark zuckenberg. he might be brilliant. and i might just be a hater. although i would have DEFINITELY sold for $1B. so i'm totally hating on not having the opportunity to consider a $1B offer.

and

10) seeing the silicon valley hustle first hand. if you think you've seen full of shit you should see some of these start ups 'value propositions'. but the difference is, they hustle for millions, and are smart enough not to brag about how they got one over. from a distance you think they really believe the bullshit they are selling. a few do, most don't. they just know the game. I had one tell he me how he positioned his company for an overvalued acquisition because he knew it was time to exit the market... Bravo. well played sir. well played.

So why did i subject you to this list? it's part of my continuing effort to count my blessings and remain in state of gratitude for the opportunities that life has presented me with.

that is all.

thinking happy thoughts

2009-11-10T11:21:00.000-08:00

i'm going to try to keep my snarky, sacrastic comments out of this one.

one second please while i put on my rose colored glasses.

so, like everyone else, i watch the news. wow. the world is nuts. people are under such high levels of stress.

but like google, there's no recession in my world. yes, you can hate me now. but not too much, because there are higher taxes...so i'm doing my part. damn it, there's that cynicism!

but anyhow, the point is, despite the madness in the world, i'm making a conscious effort to not get bogged down in the muck of it all. i do what i can in my space and with the people I come in contact with. throw some money at charities and hope they are not too corrupt and that the poster children actually get fed (there's that cynicism), and generally try to do no evil. no active evil. why does this matter? because i have no guilt about what i have or how i've earned it, so i don't lay awake a nite thinking i'm stepping on others to get to the top. i'm not up that high anyhow.

could i be greener. ya. could i save more whales? probably. could i wear a save darfur and pretend like i care (ah, that cynicism is so sneaky)? fo sho. but despite not having achieved hippie-activist-perfection, i'm making an active point to not get bogged down in the madness. of course i feel empathy for the suffering of others. but when i focus too much on what the news tells me to care about, it becomes easy to lose site of the fact that i have so many good things surrounding and it's rather silly to not enjoy them. i have a great husband, a gorgeous baby, a new baby on the way, the best nannies i could have ever hoped for, family close enough to visit even if it's not as often as i'd like, the freedom to blog about whatever i want. nasty or nice. religious freedom. stability despite the madness. and on and on. i won't bore you with my list. the point is, i've made choices to build stability and security, and to surround myself with people i enjoy. the world is nuts, but i'm going to enjoy my bubble. it's madness not too.

that is all.

diaper bins...the thrill of it all

2009-11-09T12:37:00.000-08:00

ah yes, today i'm going to subject you to my opinions on diaper bins. don't worry - it's not long.

So, after having bought and fought with a diaper genie, i'd have to say just get a garbage can with a lid that shuts tight to keep smells in.

here is a site with some reviews on them. note the diaper genie did not make it into the best-of-the-best list.

as it shouldn't. it's okay. it gets the job done, but if you let it get too full..and try to stuff just onnnnnnneeee more diaper in, it'll break. you can repair it, but you have to get out the screwdriver to do so. who want's to do that?

what's that you say? who will be retarded enough to overfill a nasty diaper bin. your husband. that's who. well maybe not your husband, but my husband. that's why i make mine fix it.

now his solution is to leave the dirty diaper on the floor next to the diaper bin. in his world, the problem is solved. no more broken diaper genie. in my world, we have new problems. diaper next to the diaper genie totally defeats the purpose. at least my pregnant nose alerts me to when there is a stray diaper on the floor that i need to go find. ah well. pick and choose your battles i guess.

real solution - skip the genie and get a nice garbage can with a lid. one that won't break on you for actually using it!

a mortgage is to be paid off...

2009-10-26T11:48:00.001-07:00

long sigh. the financial news is just so depressing these days. mainly because short term greed is causing people so many problems. and i feel for them. i really do, so as my PSA for the day, i'll keep it short.

a mortgage is to be paid off before retirement. not refinanced with cash pulled out to buy . there is nothing you should pull cash out of your house to buy. maybe, possibly, someone will show me an example where i say okay.... i guess so. but probably not, my answer will most likely be, you should have had cash savings, OR you should get some other kind of financing for that.

anyhow, here's a quote from mish's blog:

The expectation once was to pay off your 30-year mortgage before you retired, or come close. Instead, the level of indebtedness among older Americans has risen faster than in any other age group, partly because so many obtained second mortgages to take money out of their homes.

the post is about seniors needing to work to pay their mortgages.

wow, think about that. needing to work at 71, to pay a mortgage. that sucks. that's the anti-retirement plan.

so the point is thus.

if you have a mortgage. pay it off before retirement. then don't refinance. at the very late late late days of your life, perhaps do a reverse mortgage. but only when the end is nigh, and you can see the pearly gates approaching.

otherwise, you face having to work when you should be chillaxin in your paid off pad.

that is all. just a friendly heads up. because the bankers will of course encourage you to refi. to fund their retirements.

a mortgage is to be paid off...

2009-10-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

The expectation once was to pay off your 30-year mortgage before you retired, or come close. Instead, the level of indebtedness among older Americans has risen faster than in any other age group, partly because so many obtained second mortgages to take money out of their homes.

yet another opinion

2009-10-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

to vaccinate or not to vaccinate.

we're delaying vaccinating for some, and flat out rejecting others.

hep b vaccine. for a baby? who is my baby f-ing? i need to have a chat with little miss mya about her slutty ways.

tenanus. yes.

chicken pox. probably not.

anyhow, i won't run down the entire list the point is, vaccines aren't a yay or nay across the board thing. some diseases are more serious than others. some, if you get them, it's discomfort, but you'll live. some you won't.

but here is my point. don't take my random ass opinion. who the hell am i. go look up the research. avoid opinion articles. anything that looks like a blog is not what you want. like this. go to pubmed. go to google scholar. look for real research. i won't provide a spoiler here, but research is finding links between certain things and significantly increased rates of autism. if i tell you here, it's just a random ass opinion. so find the research where they did the studies.

and if you don't have a doctor that will let you discuss these things, not from a fear based, all medicine is bad POV, but from a, doc, i need more information, and i don't want to be rushed into a decision because the CDC sez so, find a new doctor.

so that is it. avoid random ass opinions. especially from celebrities. because nothing will make your doctor tune out faster than hearing, but jenny mccarthy said...she might be right...but if so, research will back it up, and find a doctor you can discuss things with.

damn, i dont' want to disclose our pediatricians name, because she's awesome and there's already a 10 week wait to get in to see her. but i will. for those of you in berkeley, check out Dr. Katya Gerwin. She's a harvard trained, science loving, yet roll your own granola crunchy mother, who has definite opinions, backed by experience and research. and despite her expertise, she'll listen to your concerns. and work out a plan that works for you. since if something goes wrong, it's your ultimate responsiblity. for example, after reading some journals and discussing with dr. gerwin...warning - random ass opinion coming.... we have decided that there are some vaccines we definitely want to do. but not until mya's vitamin D levels are sufficiently high.

ya, that's our plan. totally non standard.

do i recommend it for you? no. i recommend you regard this as another opinion worth looking into, and then look into what the research says.

geek stuff.

2009-10-13T21:15:00.001-07:00

so i was having a problem with firefox that wasn't answered on any of the blogs/forums i could find. BOO! i hate when that happens.

so the problem was, every time I started firefox, it would create a new profile. Which ends up using up a ton of your memory. And also, makes it hard to use Charles. And your history/bookmarks are always lost. Well, they are not lost. But your profile is never reused, so they are not loaded. I know...such a geek technicality. sorry.

anyhow, it took a few hours. but i fixed it. as my contribution to tech, here are the details.

enjoy.

http://flash.aliseya.com/2009/10/firefox-creating-new-profile-on-each.html

long sigh. you can't legislate intelligence

2009-10-13T12:37:00.000-07:00

http://finance.yahoo.com/techticker/article/352782/American-Consumer-Rights-Under-Siege,-Nader-Says

problem: boo hoo, i got charged too many overdraft fees because i can't spend less than i earn, and i still bank at a bank that charges me high fees every time the dog sneezes because i haven't taken the time to switch to a credit union. i worse yet, i still believe the marketing bullshit banks put on billboards about caring about me and my dreams. boo hoo. save me from my stupidty.

proposed solution: we'll use your tax dollars to create a new agency, that will advise banks to lower fees. banks will ignore such advice. you will still pay the fees and now you will also pay for this agency.

if you want a regulatory agency to protect you from your own inability to balance your checkbook, read this line out loud slowly.

EYE HAM WE TODD IT

i need to sell out and become a politician. i'm almost that jaded.

an interesting article

2009-10-12T16:16:00.000-07:00

i'm not going to preface this one. i'll just say, read it to the end. it's interesting. and whether you agree with it or not as always, i just encourage you to think. and think about your thoughts. you won't die just because you listen to an idea you don't agree with. worst case scenario, you'll just have to clarify your arguments and positions. even in your own mind.

it makes for better democracy.

http://uselessdissident.blogspot.com/2008/11/interview-with-yuri-bezmenov.html

deliver unto me, a truly free market.

2009-09-27T16:30:00.000-07:00

i'll keep this short. and to the point.

when you say the banks, unfairly getting bailed out is an example of free markets failing, you are misunderstanding what a free market is. in a free market, the banks would have been allowed to fail. individual investors would have been protected to a certain extent by the FDIC until it ran out of money, and large institutional investors would have lost a ton, as they were insured by AIG. oh, is that why they got soooo much money. why they went from being unknown to the individual investor to being front page news. yes.

in a free market, the government would not have stepped in and given tax dollars to the entities of their choosing. the anointed. on a side note, were our currency backed by gold, the government could not have done this. because they'd have to go GET more gold first. when economists say, lets return to a gold standard, it is not because they are living in the past. or because the have huge personal reserves of gold, it is because gold cannot be created out of thin air. you cannot arbitrarily inflate the money supply and give the new money to the anointed of your choosing. it is a check on power.

but pause for a second and think about that power. the power to create money. where there was none. and give it to whomever, individual entity or corporate entity, you choose. powerful stuff there. of COURSE we'll never go back to a gold standard. power of this nature does not willingly contract.

so, anyhow, i understand your outrage at the bailouts. and the fact that our intelligence is insulted daily by politicians saying they are trying to protect the average american only makes it worse. the average american does not get $50 million dollar bonuses. the average american probably did not get a bonus last year, if they were even still employed. the average american gets thrown a bone to keep them content while on the backend is getting charged for the privelage of recieving this bone.

so i understand the outrage. i feel it too. however, attacking policies that were not at fault, is not productive. the free market did not fail you, because the free market, in this case, never really existed. capitalism did not fail you, because capitalism would have let the bankrupt companies die their natural deaths if no buyer stepped up.

we the people, Inc. stepped up. and in my opinion that is the failure. the failure was in the fact that some entities were deemed worthy of being saved, while others, mainly individual families, were not deemed worthy. and that is not how a free market operates. i will not throw out a term here like fascism, or third way economics, mainly because there isn't strong consensus about what that means, so a label will distract from the actual definition. the point is, the free market did not speak. the free market did not decide. the free market was circumvented because the powers that be decided that it should be so. were they right? were they wrong? history will have it's opinion. and i'm not issuing judgement here. i'm just stating, what went down, was not free market economics. not by a long shot. nor was it capitalism.

micheal moore, you are a filmmaker, not an economist. in the words of the Rock, know your role...actually, it's more important that we, those on the hook for the debts of we the people, inc. know his role and look at him as an entertainer, not an educator. a movie based on true economic theory would have been boring. and wouldn't have made him a millionaire once again. micheal moore operates in a free market. in a capitalist enterprise where the owners get to enjoy the profits of their labors. one in which we, the market, get to decide whether or not we support his product. where there are no subsidies granting it to those that cannot afford it on their own. his is an enterprise where a business failure is just that. nothing political. no spin saying the world as we know it will come to an end, should micheal moore inc, not be able to pay it's bills. his is a free market enterprise. albeit one with a steep barrier to entry. those that he criticizes are not. he's a man that knows how to fill the seats. hollywood at its capitalist finest.

and it seems to work out quite smashingly for him. he can bite the hand that feeds him and still get fed. because people like his product. and people hate his product, yet still willingly pay to see it, so that they can trash it later. viva free fucking markets.

on another day, maybe i'll make his actual argument for him and discuss the balance between for profit, not for profit, and gov' run. but that won't be short.

compared to a 1000 page book on economic theory, this was.

on keeping baby costs down.

2009-09-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

so this is my trademark sage advice on parenting. because like with everything in my life, after just 6 months, i am now an expert. certified.

ha. actually, my advice is actually to tell you you don't need most of the crap the experts say you do. do what is healthy and makes sense. if you stroll thru babies-r-us, there are about 10,000 products that you MUST have or else your little one will be a deprived child.

actually, they don't need much. put the baby in your bed. give them a boob from time to time and wipe the poo off of them. anything else is extra and can be looked at as such. do they need a boppy? no. it saves your back, but a blanket works just a well. do they need a special infant bassinet stroller that they will grow out of at 6 months. gosh no. get a normal one that reclines so that they can lay flat? but what about gazing into their eyes as we stroll. look at the road. trust me, you'll have endless time to gaze at your bebe. if you want to get one, great. good for you. but i'm just saying, don't put it into the necessity category and go brizoke for it. i will not bail you out.

what about outfits? oh gosh, by they time you've gotten around to washing the first ones, they've grown out of them. don't splurge now. get one nice thing for photos and the rest should be inexpensive and minimal. because in 4 weeks, it won't fit. yes, it's that fast.

what about strollers. i need 5. one for each stage. do your research. get one. i got the baby jogger citi mini. i LOVE it. i chose it over the bouge-a-boo. because i'm not spending a G on a stroller. i have gucci bags to buy.

what about toys? ya. get some. but kids don't really need that much stuff.

and my FAVORITE. what about "your baby can read". i MUST have that. i MUST give my child all the advantages possible. shrug-a-roo. i say, find out what phonics is. google it. and then make some flash cards. most of your child's brilliance is determined by genetics anyhow. hopefully you didn't mate with that hot-as-hell-dumb-as-bricks. dude. no DVD set can overcome that. ya. i said it. but the point is, you don't need a $300 system to teach your kid how to read. my mom was broke, so she made her own dick and jane books. and i was reading at 2. same for other early readers i know. yes, a reading system is nice. but you don't NEED to spend $300 to get the same results.

so that is all. there is so much pressure to get all of these things. that don't really matter. and will be used for such a short time. if you're flush with cash, great. but if not, the point is, don't beat your self up about not being able to get something. normally there is a much less expensive solution. but it's not being marketed to you. so ignore the peanut gallery and do what works for you.

that is all.

a monday rant

2009-09-21T13:40:00.000-07:00

i wish i were one of those types that bounded out of bed on mondays ready for the week. but i'm not. i lament my weekend lost. or is it my youth lost.

anyhoo. since it's monday, and i'm cranky feel free to stop reading now.

so my annoyance for the day is all the products to improve women. as if perfection needed improving upon. i would feel different if men were equally harassed. but they are not. as an example, just to be moisturized to a socially acceptable level, i spend about $50/month on lotions. while my fiance, i doubt even owns one bottle. no i'm lying. he has one bottle. that he refers to when i ask him why he doesn't moisturize. you're going to get wrinkes you know. but he doesn't care. because he's a man, and men have the luxury of aging. RANT. BITCH. MOAN. anyhow, back to this one bottle. it's kiels. which you can only get at nordies, or at the kiels store in valley fair. i know he's not at either of these places. ha. as-if. so I KNOW the bottle of kiels is the SAME bottle he's had for the last 2 years that i know of. probably longer since i'm sure it was bought for him by some ex-girlfriend. so, what is my solution to this inequality? make him metro? well. if it weren't so much constant nagging i would. and THAT, a page later is the gripe. men have all these companies, with their marketing departments, nagging us women for them, making us feel we must buy all this shit. in order to be desirable. to make us soft and lovely and sexy.

and it does make us soft and lovely and sexy. and i say its worth the money. it's civilized. but can we get some insecurity equality? can i see non-stop ads targeting men and __their__ stinks and scales? can they at least not revel in it? can they en masse, develop ego complexes about said stinks? and then, once that is accomplished, i want to see you sell them some BS self help/empowerment books to let them go back to being *okay* with the perfection in the imperfection.

that is all. that is my rant.

make me happy. sell some ball-wrinkle cream for $100/oz. and make it lemon-spring-blossom scented.

to walk away...

2009-09-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

oh there are so many things i want to blog about today. i could blog about kanye taking the mic from taylor swift, but i have nothing new to add to that discussion. i could talk about the 4th, debatable F, but i'm not in the mood for that, so i'll save that for later, or i could again talk about obamacare, and how it's strange that there was a huge march against it, but i haven't seen any mainstream news coverage of it. the streets were full. that's news. but i'll save that for a day when i have more energy. for today, i'll talk about underwater mortgages, bitchass HOAs and walking away. not just any mortgage. mine.

So, my mortgage is underwater. listen to the county of alameda and what they want me to pay in taxes and it's $100,000 underwater. listen to independent appraisers with no incentive to overinflate the value, and it's just over $200,000 underwater. or just over 50%.

okay, that's fine. as i said in an earlier post, equity, gained or lost, is not real until you sell. at least by the accounting rules that i have to play by. so because i'm gainfully employed and have cash reserves, there is no urgent financial pressure to make any moves. i'm not on the brink of foreclosure.

however, i do have a bitchass HOA. one that likes to mail out nasty grams about fees and shit. one that likes to raise fees but not fix shit. hello perpetually borken gate. what is the point of having a gate, if it's stuck open half of the time. but back to their fees. they throw out $100 fees left and right, and say they are due immediatley. with no due process. even the government isn't on that much of a power trip. you at least have about 3 months to pay your tickets and there is a process by which you can appeal said ticket. so should i get a fine from the HOA, i'll be sure to tell them to go f- themselves. oh wait, they tried that and i told them i'd see them in court. fee magically disappeared.

so anyhow, their latest act of bitchassness is to require that we put stickers on our back windows, to identify our cars, so that they know if someone is committing a parking infraction. last i checked, i PAID for my parking spots. i will let you know if someone is in one of them. i don't need you hiring security to verify stall numbers with stickers. security i have to pay for via the ever rising HOA dues. and i don't put stickers on my beemer unless there is huge incentive for ME. providing you another way to bother me is not incentive.

so anyhow, i have an underwater no-recourse mortgage. a bitchass HOA, cash on hand, a husband (in a family way, but not a legal way your debt is my debt way) with perfect credit, and enough knowledge to get my name on the next title but not the mortgage. because with a default i can't for a few years. but i can pay him directly. or something, since he's in favor of me walking away, i'm sure we can work something out.

so what does that mean? it's the perfect storm for walking away.

i've gone from that not being an option to considering it. why? because of the HOA and the stress they cause from their constant threats and nasty grams.

and this my friends, is why i say save your money and always have cash. no matter what your credit score, boatloads of cash will solve all problems.

that is all. time to go back to getting my f-u-money.

The 3 Fs

2009-09-12T21:47:00.000-07:00

it seems like in the women's mags, there is no shortage of advice on things you need to avoid. behaviors you need to change. if you want to keep your man.

check out the latest list of the verboden

ugh, too much work. too many rules. and it's wrong. being all nice and walking on egg shells is not the way to a mans heart. it's much easier. i wish i could take credit for these rules. but i can't they pretty much come from dr. laura. what? really? yes. dr. laura. if you can execute on these three rules, you can pretty much do whatever you want on the forbidden list. because men are not women. they don't want to be manipulated. they want you to:

Feed them.
F#@k them.
and stay Fly.

that's it. cook a steak. ride the pony. and be pleasing to the eye. you do this, and you can get away with most of the infractions on that list. you do #3 and reward him with #2 and he may even ENJOY you doing said infractions.

1 out of 3 won't cut it. 2 out of three will get you pretty far. you can talk some shit. but all three is the trifecta and earns you a perpetual get out of jail free card.

enjoy your pass to be a bitch.

in defense of the "average american"

2009-09-11T04:30:00.000-07:00

disclaimer.

when it comes to healthcare, i am not the average american. i work for a large company with reserves in the Bs, that has huge incentive to provide highly competitive benefits. that incentive is the competition. they don't want me to go there for a matter of a few hundred dollars. so i have a very high degree of certainty that should a public option for healthcare pass, that will save my company money (costs less to contribute to this than to provide insurance through aetna), they won't do it. not because they love me so much. not because they care about me so much. mainly because unless ALL tech companies did this, there would be a mass exodus to the competition.

so my disclaimer it thus. should heathcare legislation pass, unless i mess up the good thing i have going at work, i'll still be able to see my harvard trained doctors and pay them whatever they want with my current insurance. most people have never been on public medical assistance, so they have never heard, "we don't accept medical coupons". but ask the poor. i've been the poor. it happens. so in a mixed system, private and public like we already have, there will be rationing, just not for the rich. those that have, will just probably pay more for priority service. don't believe me? think about "first class seating" on an airline. and actually, it already happens. if you don't believe me, you are either not rich, or going to the wrong providers. imagine a waiting room full of yuppies. no teenage mothers. no mediCal. they exist. i'm not telling you where. they would revoke my membership. just kidding. or am i?

so anyhow, i'm not that worried about if i will be able to see the doctor because i'm willing and able to pay in insurance, cash, gold, silver, diamonds, gucci bags or california IOUs. what u want. i got u... i'm arguing now for those that work for small business. because you my friends, will be fucked. i don't normally really cuss on my blog. but i'm making a point, so i decided not to bleep it.

so, again i'm not saying i want anyone to go without insurance. quite the opposite. i'm just saying, lets get reform right. in a fiscally sound way. no wishful thinking. no fanciful imagining that costs will disappear because doctors will all of a sudden get more efficient. if there were money to be made that way, they would have done it to accomodate more PAYING customers. can i get an amen bain and co? or government offices will get more efficient. what's this? we can't audit the fed? no fancy consultants hired to squash the fraud in all public assistance programs. the government has no interest in becoming more efficient. it wins no votes. those against programs normally hate them no matter how efficient. those that love them, again love them no matter how inefficient. votes are won and lost on ideals, not results.

anyhow, back to story. so we've heard the sob stories of the poor person that was bankrupted because they got cancer. 1:1,000,000. so let's now talk about 1:100. the server at your restaurant.

so, lets say you work in a restaurant. i've worked in one. wages are not the cash cow there. it's tips. many times your paycheck ends up being the size of a day or two's worth of tips, mainly because if you work a dinner shift, you can get clocked out after the rush is over. so it's not always a 40hr week. anyhow. so the point is, we know restaurants have high revenue, but what is not generally known is that they have very slim profit margins (or is it? it might be general knowledge). so imagine if now, labor overhead doubled. which is a reasonable assumption since wages are low. the margins cannot absorb this new expense, so your favorite restaurant is going to pass that cost along to you or go out of business. some will try to pass the cost along and then go out of business. that means now Mr. 1:100 is both without a job, and without insurance.

or take the small business that already provides health insurance, but isn't sitting on billions. the business who's profit margins are slim. the business who is on the verge. judging by all of the vacancy signs in retail buildings, this is more than a few. anyhow. so now they can reduce costs by contributing to the government plan instead of bearing the full cost. this is preferable to bankruptcy. So there goes your ability to keep your current insurance. now mr 1:100 has lost his current insurance.

i'm sure i'll keep mine, or my husband will keep his. so i'm not lobbying for me. this is where i use my blog because i give a shit about you. but not in the way you think. i give a shit about transparency. i just want you to get what you think you're voting for. in this case, call me a skeptic, but the numbers don't lead me to believe that you will. i think you will get less. and then be taxed for it. and told to just wait, while the kinks are worked out of the system. and you not dying in the meanwhile is touted as proof of success.

that is all. vote wisely my friends.

retirement is in sight!

2009-09-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

holy @#$%. i'm proud to announce, that after two years, my google ads have netted .....

drum role plizease.

$18.45.

whoot there it is.

go shory it's my birthday.

oh wait. what? cut the fireworks. i read that wrong. the decimal must be in the wrong place. and it's definitely missing some 0s. i've been doing free promos for your service and all i get for it is $18 bucks. that i can't even collect because you don't pay out until $100. no wonder the googleplex prints money. ~~suckers~~ site owners, actually get a 0% cut in this rev share. i'm sure there's some provision, where i can call, or write in or stand on the street in mountain view cry enough to get my $20. and i'm sure it's the only thing over there that is not online. but i'm lazy. and it's only $20. it's so much easier to just blog about it.

support my laziness. click an ad so i can get past the $100 threshold. it actually would only take about 200 clicks. and i'm sure i've violated something in the terms of use by disclosing that and now owe google a bizillion dollars. well, i'll pay them when it gets to a mega-bizillion. well, how about this. i'll leave your ads up until the debt is settled.

later.