in berkeley all lanes, are the bike lane. proceed with caution.
so it's christmas day and serious caffeine addictions like mine don't take holidays off. so out of sheer necessity, i have to drive into berkeley. becuase if nothing else, you can get coffee 24x7x365 in berkeley. so even though it's a car-hostile place (has anyone else seen that pack of wild bikes that takes up the whole street going 5 miles an hour... and you know they're just trying to piss you off because the one in the back has a camera, just waiting to catch you in a youtube worthy moment road rage...) anyhow, so despite the risks of driving in berkeley, i brave it, because i need coffee.
so i'm out driving, and this old school vw van (is there a new school one?) cuts me off.
and i'm about to honk...and i'm not really a honker, but this was ridiculous..the guy swerved AND slowed down. doesn't he know? cut-off and commit. don't cut off and hesitate. you did it, so follow thru. no-one likes a passive-aggressive driver.
so, i'm already annoyed that the scooby doo crime van almost hit me...but then i notice, he swerved to avoid hitting a biker. ah such a hippie. he made the berkeley choice (bikers over drivers - at all costs). so now that i've sized up the situation and decided it's a worthy infraction, i'm prepared to honk. this warrants a honk. not that the honk will do anything. but who cares. i want to honk...just to remind him that he had so many other choices....you can see the bike from half a block away... so change lanes earlier. or stop and wait for the lane to be clear...or just stay out of the bike lane (well nevermind that one, this is berkeley, so they're ALL the de-facto bike lane). but before i can honk, i need to complete my hippie profiling of this guy, so i check his bumper to see if he's a hybrid, electric or bio-diesel kind of hippie.
and that's when i see the bumper sticker.
honk if you're elvis!
ahh that hippie fucker. he cuts me off, then slows down, and i can't even honk at him without proclaiming that i in fact, am elvis.
so i didn't honk. i laughed. but i still try to avoid driving in berkeley. between the bikes, the non stop pedestrians jumping out like it's a drivers ed video and the meter maids on constant patrol, it's just too dangerous
so i'm out driving, and this old school vw van (is there a new school one?) cuts me off.
and i'm about to honk...and i'm not really a honker, but this was ridiculous..the guy swerved AND slowed down. doesn't he know? cut-off and commit. don't cut off and hesitate. you did it, so follow thru. no-one likes a passive-aggressive driver.
so, i'm already annoyed that the scooby doo crime van almost hit me...but then i notice, he swerved to avoid hitting a biker. ah such a hippie. he made the berkeley choice (bikers over drivers - at all costs). so now that i've sized up the situation and decided it's a worthy infraction, i'm prepared to honk. this warrants a honk. not that the honk will do anything. but who cares. i want to honk...just to remind him that he had so many other choices....you can see the bike from half a block away... so change lanes earlier. or stop and wait for the lane to be clear...or just stay out of the bike lane (well nevermind that one, this is berkeley, so they're ALL the de-facto bike lane). but before i can honk, i need to complete my hippie profiling of this guy, so i check his bumper to see if he's a hybrid, electric or bio-diesel kind of hippie.
and that's when i see the bumper sticker.
honk if you're elvis!
ahh that hippie fucker. he cuts me off, then slows down, and i can't even honk at him without proclaiming that i in fact, am elvis.
so i didn't honk. i laughed. but i still try to avoid driving in berkeley. between the bikes, the non stop pedestrians jumping out like it's a drivers ed video and the meter maids on constant patrol, it's just too dangerous
posted by techdiva at
11:33 PM
2 Comments:
I decided to stop by your blog deal-i-o and read this hilarious entry! That is too much... elvis! Ha!
yea ive been back in the town for 6 months now and ive just about had it with the bikers. they want to use to roads, want respect on the roads but dont give respect back. i missMiami and atlanta, at l;east there, there was a general understanding that if you are on the road and not in a motor vehicle and you get hit, whos bad is that???? YOURS.
i could go for days on the clowns here. lol what kills me the most is the "save the planet eco-superheroes" who bike around Seattle, and thatd fine i guess, except for the fact they havent EVER been athletic in their life and being stuck behind some out of shape clown trying to bike up one of these hills is no fun. (much respect to the bikers who know how to tackle Capitol hill on a bicycle going as fast as traffic)
your blogs are hilarious. hope all is well ;)
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